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Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 16 Feb 2007 09:26 AM
This post originally was made in the consumer section but it has been moved to this section because it is more fitting.
Original post by cagedflights
Hey Mel, and thanks for the welcome!
I am quite a loner, I dont go out much and there are no Indians where I live. Its more like a small conservative christian town with native american population for the most part of it. So I dont have any Indian friends to go out with who might have the same needs as I do. Also my hubby is a white american, so he has no clue of why or what I need to even begin to look for it.
Anyhow, since I need it (grinder) I will figure out a way to get it. I really appreciate ur suggestions on finding it out thru yellow pages. I am a li'l tight on my finances at the moment so I will have to wait until I can save some $$$...
BTW, wish u and everyone out here who celebrates, on Pardesi Community, a Very Happy Valentine!
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...
Original reply by mel
What a courageous person you are! Not only have you married outside of your own culture but you have moved to a place with people who are also outside your culture and you don’t even know anyone yet! Do not lose heart! It is new but you will be able to get your bearings soon.
I have a couple of suggestions for you which have nothing to do with the grain grinder. I hope you do not mind. I just see some similarities between us and thought I might tell you some things that helped me.
First, if you want to send me an email through the contact us form and let me know where you are located at I will see if I can get together some information for you regarding where you can find stuff. The emails through the website come directly to me. Don’t post it here because we want to protect your privacy. (By the way, I am the website owner).
Second, it is time to start going out more and meeting new people. It is winter now and the weather may not be good enough for you to do some of these things but you can use some of the suggestions now and some later. The bottom line, you need to make some friends or at least know a few people. I am not a very social person so to speak, I do not like to go to parties really or big events but I do like having people to talk to and it is nice to know that if I ever needed any help they would be there. I realize that most of the people you are living in close vicinity to are conservative Christians and therefore you may not have much in common with them at first glance but when you look a little deeper there are some universal themes that are common in most women’s lives. For starters, if I understood another post correctly, you have a baby. If you do, babies/children are great conversations starters because motherhood is pretty universal. Also, people are much more open around babies than they are around adults. So you could be standing in a grocery store line by yourself and never get any hello or smiles but when you have a baby with you, people are just more friendly and trusting. It may start with a smile at the baby then the person smiling at the baby will probably smile up at you. You can then smile back at them and there is an opening. Often other mothers will talk to you about your baby and then you can start a conversation that way as well. I think a good place to start would be with other women who have children with them or who appear friendly. You don’t have to launch into a big discussion right away but you might try something like “Hi. I am new here and was wondering if you could tell me if there is a children’s play group here or perhaps a place that I might meet other mothers with small children?” Here are some suggestions to get your started going out and meeting other women who could become friends.
1. If you have a baby, get a stroller and go to a local park or playground where women with children go, you might start there once the weather is warm enough. Let people get used to seeing you there with your baby. After some time, you might find that a few of the other mothers are eager to talk to you.
2. Look in your local paper’s classified section or community section to see if you can find a local play group as your baby gets older. If you do not have a baby, look for a ladies exercise group for walking or some other group such as a women’s club, garden club, book club, etc. You probably will not find other Indian women to interact with but you would be amazed at how easy it is to make friends with any ethnicity if you can find common, shared interests.
3. Visit your local library. Even if you are not a big reader, you can find a lot of information about free events and groups in your area.
Original reply by cagedflights
Yes, it is kinda crazy now when I think about it but love I believe is blind too! I love my husband and I was ready to face the consequences after marrying him. Besides it really wouldnt have mattered if I was not so dependent on him for money or a ride bcuz like I said before, I am a loner, I shy away from ppl and like to be lost in my own little world. I have more friends on the world wide web than I do in person.
Is ur husband an american too? You have a wonderful website! ...and having this kind of a forum on ur website was a real smart thing to do. It makes ur website look more lively and besides it makes it easy for ur clients to talk to u if they have any questions/comments/complaints.
I do have some american friends here. Mostly old ppl. I dont seem to merge well with ladies of my age here. We just seem to be from two different planets. Also I like to maintain a li'l distance between friends here since I realized by getting close to a few that my religious beliefs, country, color and culture tend to put me aside and hurt my feelings often. One of em whom I believed to be a very close and good friend got right up to my face and told me I was going to h*ll for not believing they way she did! ...and that is just one of the incidents that I have had here in this town. That makes me want to stay to myself even more, although I believe and know that this country does have some good ppl in it too and I probably would meet a few if I could go out somewhere alone but I dont drive so I depend on my hubby to gimme a ride and he dont get much time or have any interest to explore new places or show me out. Yes, ppl do come around and smile and pass some nice comment about the baby to my 'hubby', bcuz he tends to look more like them than I do..lol..so there u go again.
There are quite a few groups here for kids, where kids and their moms get together and talk about motherhood , parenting etc... some are even good for any kind of help u need with ur baby and provide u with some baby stuff too to cut on ur expenses but all of them are christian oriented or have bible studies in it. I am not a very religious person, I dont have interest in learning about other religions and inspite of all that I really dont care if they ask me to attend the church or read a li'l bible or preach me something about their religion, but the way they approach me for it is a li'l rude...for eg., they tell me," if u are not a christian it is even more important for u to go to church and know who the real God is." They tell me to attend church for the baby and raise her as a christian even though me or her daddy is not a christian...it kinda shuts the possiblity of going any further in the conversation with these ppl out here. U know how it is in India, u believe what u believe and respect others belief too, I have friends from all religions, I have sang bhajans in temples and read nohas in mosques and sang hymes in church since music was my subject and I love to sing... nobody ever told me there to change my beliefs and it only made me get close to all my friends.
I dont know if there would be any park or play ground closeby cuz I live way too out in the country, we dont even have any pizza home-delivery, or cable network connections where we live cuz its so far from the city.
I'm sorry, Mel to rule out all the possibilities u have suggested above. The only possible way way I know is to move out of this town and go back to the town next to this one where I used to live before marriage. Its basically a small college town, the university campus covers most parts of it but it is quite lively, u dont feel scared to move alone out there and I used to walk to almost all the stores there, besides there are plenty of students out there from all over the world so its easy to find friends and the american folks out there are li'l more open minded about non-americans/christians and a whole lot friendly. I also realize, that town needs an indian store real bad since it aint got one with a few basic indian items and clothings in it. I could start with a small home business of indian products and know more ppl and make friends that way. I'm sick of living the life of an unkown, infamous artist and a housewife... may be a home business will increase the demand of my artwork as well.
I need a lot of well wishes, prayers and blessings .........
I will tell u my exact location in my private email to u but I doubt that will help. I however, very much appreciate ur time and consideration to help me out with my problem. It is very nice to hear from someone like u! Thanks!!
PS: My comments above regarding the american ppl here and the problems I have with them are very personal and not intended to hurt anybody's feelings that happens the read this post. I respect this country and its ppl and beliefs just as much as I do mine. I have only expressed my personal experiences and DO NOT by any means intend to judge the whole country and its ppl from a few bad experiences I have had here.
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 16 Feb 2007 09:26 AM
I don’t think anyone who read your post could think you were being disrespectful. You shared personal experiences with us and I feel pretty confident that the people who come here will understand or at least empathize with you.
For starters, I am sorry that these things have happened to you. True Christianity is not about in your face tactics and really they should not be approaching the subject of conversion with you. It would be different if you expressed an interest in Christianity and they talked to you about it, but not like this. I know you have to be frustrated and I would be too. It is hard to have a sense of well being when it seems as if almost everyone around you will not accept you for who you are. It is even harder to face all this when you do not have anyone to share your life and experiences with, for example if you were living with other people who face the same issues you deal with everyday. While your husband can be sympathetic to your plight, he will have a hard time understanding it because he has probably never been in a situation where he was the “outsider”. When we love another person we try very hard to understand their feelings but it is not always possible when you have never been so far outside the culture you are living in.
My heart is really going out to you. If you have not already told your husband your true feelings, it might be a good time to do so. Perhaps this move to the smaller, rural area was his idea so you will have to be careful how you approach the subject. You do not want him to think you are criticizing him because when people feel they are being criticized they tend to become defensive. I would also try to approach the discussion while you two are not rushed and the baby is sleeping so you can focus on the discussion and not other interruptions. Then tell him everything. Let him know what has happened to you and how you feel. Tell him that you are lonely and while you do not care to have a lot of friends or social activities you would at least like to meet a few other women to chat with or to share with. Explain to him that you have been practically hiding because of the way you have been treated and that you are very unhappy living there. Also tell him that you do not feel welcome there and you want to establish some connections for the family. These are just some ideas and ultimately you will have to be the one to decide what to say. One thing I do know is that if you felt more welcome in the college town, it might be worth it to look into moving back if it is feasible for your family.
Another thing that I want you to understand is that there are people who will accept you for who you are, no matter what your background. You just haven’t met those people yet but I hope you do soon. For example, my family are very good friends with families who are very Christian in the sense that they attend church several times a week and their lives revolve around the church community and events. We have been friends now with one family since before my birth (my parents were friends with them) and another family for more than 5 years. Not once in all those times have either family ever tried to convert us or tell us that our choices were not the right ones. In fact, both families I am speaking about have asked our kids to attend this church function or that and we let them go. They have a great time, everyone welcomes them and they discuss religious things but never once has anyone ever tried to push things on them. So as you can see, there are people out there who are comfortable with sharing religious ideas without the in your face tactics and criticism of other’s beliefs.
As for opening a business: I was not sure if you meant in the current town you are living or in the college town? If you were speaking of the current town, I would spend a good bit of time thinking about it and talking about it to others. It sounds like the majority of the town is pretty traditional and if that is the case, chances are you would not get enough business for an Indian store to thrive. It is also the case in many instances that a smaller town can not support a lot of businesses and art may not be something they can support at this time in their economic growth. If you are serious about your art and want to make it into a career, why not start with displaying a few pieces somewhere to see what the feedback might be? Our library often displays local artists and puts a little tag on it that says “This piece available for purchase, please contact the artist at…for further details.” Put your email address or something like that rather than a phone number or home address and see how things go.
Definitely keep up your art, it may help keep you sane!
I am glad you like the site and if you should think of anything else, please do ask. Sometimes it just helps to talk about these things with others. If anyone else has some other ideas that might help Atiya, please do let her know!
PS. I know about rural living and realize there are fewer options. In fact, I spent most of my childhood in the rural Southern USA and life there primarily revolved around the church communities so I do understand how it is hard to make friends outside of the church.
Joined: 07 Jan 2006
Total Posts: 228
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 17 Feb 2007 11:43 AM
Atiya, I feel so bad for you, I must give you a big internet hug! Mel is right when she says that not all people will treat you poorly because you are different. Unfortunately, it seems like across the world right now, people are not being accepting of others and I really hope we all can get our acts together soon and live and let live.
I am not sure how far the college town is from you; is it driving distance? I am wondering if it would be possible for you to go to school to learn how to drive? Getting your driver's license varies from state to state, so I'm not sure of KY's laws re: this. I was thinking that maybe if you could drive, you may be able to visit the college town when your husband is not using the car. That way, if moving from your present rural location is impossible, you can at least sometimes visit an area that feels good and comfortable for you. Just a thought. :)
Otherwise, I can sympathize with you on feeling isolated. I have a chronic illness and I have been unable to work or leave the house much in over two-and-a-half years (I'm currently applying for disability through the US government). I've lost many friends because I'm just not the person I used to be and never really will be. I think it is a good start that you are friends with old people. I am friends with a couple in their 70s across the street and even though we may be at two different places in our lives, they have been so incredibly supportive and caring of me I cannot express it in words.
I think it also good you are communicating with people on the web. You are able to find a place to express yourself and interact with others so all the feelings you have will not build up inside and tear you apart. This is very good. :)
I also agree with Mel that you should keep up your art. Things like art and writing are very good at working through feelings. :)
Take care - my thoughts are with you!
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 19 Feb 2007 04:07 AM
Dear Mel, to my understanding there is no religion that gives one the right to hurt others feeling, or be forced on anyone to follow its rules, nonetheless this world is full of it.
My personal belief is when u hurt someone in the name of ur religion or force ur beliefs on someone, u r actually not allowing a person to take time to understand ur religion or beliefs. Hence moving a person even more away from ur beliefs. I used to love Christmas time of the year, used to participate in christmas parties and decorations/celebrations, went to church with my friends a lot of time until I was outside USA. I was born and raised in Kuwait which is actually a muslim country but ironically when I came to USA, a christian country, I happen to lose interest in all the christian celebrations due to the way I got treated here. I hate to list each an every incident that drove me away from anything that has got to do with religion as a whole. I tend to do better by keeping that topic aside.
I have always had a hard time in letting ppl accept and like me for whom I am, due to the way I think and for my interests, related to fine arts and music which are not considered respectful in my social community including my family. I always have been a rebel so ppl treating me different here for my color, country or religion does not keep me from living a normal life. I have always been into my own stuff doing my own thing, ignoring the comments and faces I care less for and keep going, life keeps me too busy anyways ...It is OK! I have to agree with u that my husband does not get the real picture of what it actually feels like to be so out and away from ur culture but I have to admit that it totally tears him up if he ever comes to know or hear anyone make a nasty statement to me about my country, culture or religion.
I dont keep nothing from my hubby, so he does know what I go thru here in this town. We were going thru some terrible financial crises since the past year and a half, I could not work since I dont have a job permit yet and he couldnt find a decent job with enough pay to even make our daily bread after moving to KY from TN where he lived before we got married. He finally got a job in the town where we live at present and a nice house for much low rent thru his friend. That is the reason we are here. Things are getting better for us now, thank God. Now we can afford a li'l bit expensive house and move back to the college town that I used to live in.
I have met a very few native christian americans who had nothing against my differences both young and old ones in the college town where I lived before. But I didnt stay there too long, I couldnt carry on with my studies and now I got only one of them friends that still cares to call me once a month. So I agree and very well know that there r good ppl out here, u just have to be in the right place!
I am thinking to open up a home business basically in the college town, but I'm ready to give it a go as soon as my dad sends me a few samples from India. He has been a marketing assistant in the Indian Embassy of Kuwait for more than 36yrs of his life and he is very good at promoting business and goods in a fair price range. I am not starting on a very huge level, I have had a few ask me to send them salwar-kameez from India, so I am going to get a few for them and a couple extra to start with. Here ppl like to walk into a store in person, touch and feel the product before they buy it. My husband always asks me to dress in my salwar kameez when ever somebody comes to visit us. I have literally turned into a model..lol...but that has created much interest in a few here that want to desperately have one for themselves. I dont wear salwar-kameez outside my home, too many eyes start staring at my outfit and I get nervous and to conscious of my presence among ppl. My mom had come to visit me last two months from India. I couldnt get her to wear anything else besides salwar kameez...it was cold so she wore an indian shawl instead of her dupatta and she wears gold tops that got a loop that goes over her ears (if u know what I mean, we call it "jhele" in Rajasthan, where my mom comes from) Everyone here even in walmart would want to touch my moms shawl and look at her salwar-kameez and totally loved her ear loops... so we believe them things would sell here maybe.
To sell my art is going to be hard bcuz ppl here prefer religious art or country paintings like barns etc... I do portraits, florals, still-life and abstracts. I dont know if there is a way to display my art here but I am planning on placing adds on my local tv channel and yellow pages and set up a few of blogs on www advertising my art.
I really appreciate ur suggestions... u r so thoughtful... thanks!...
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 19 Feb 2007 04:53 AM
(((hugs))) Tabby:) I really dont share here the stuff I do to gain sympathies or to mean that I live in a terrible town or that I dont like this country and its ppl. I know there is a good side to it as well. I do like living here... it took a looong time for me to convince my parents about two years back to go to USA all alone and study here. We (me and Mel) just happen to run into this conversation from the "grain grinder" topic..lol. I can tell she knows pretty much where I am coming from to be so thoughtful and caring for me.
Well, thats another thing missing here...I looked around if there were any way to learn driving. The schools here teach driving to only kids below 18. I am 28. I have even asked ppl to teach me and I would pay them, still no luck. We have a car, hopefully hubby will teach me, this spring/summer.
Im sorry to hear about ur illness. I can understand exactly what it feels missing on being at work around ur friends. I lost my student job on campus and friends soon after I couldnt afford to study any further in my university. My boss loved my work and was ready to hire me as a regular employer but I did not have a job permit so I had to put down the offer. They have still got an offer for me to this day...but I am still working on my job permit.
We know about 4 couples here in there 70s. I agree its good to have them as friends, they have been very helpful to us as well, more so after they heard I was pregnant... they still come around to see the baby and bring her li'l gifts.
lol...computer is my closest friend!... I get on it and talk a bunch with my friends, u meet me in person and I dont know what to say. Right now, since I dont get to do much art, sharing thoughts with u all here is keeping me sane. Though I sometimes do feel like I hope I am doing the right thing since I am not Mel's client or such. I dont know if my long posts and whining belong here...but I like the two kind of ppl (indian and american) coming together here...it helps me learn better about what each one thinks about the other and how they make it together avoiding the differences.
Thanks for sharing ur thoughts and ideas...
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 19 Feb 2007 07:13 AM
Please understand that you and everyone are welcome here, no matter who you buy your clothing from. I love my business but I also love helping people. One of the great things about the internet is you can bring resources to people all over the world. I got contacted time to time over the years from customers who needed help with something and a lot of times it had nothing to do with clothing but more with cultural issues or as my relationship developed with some customers, sometimes it was more personal. I know that sounds odd at first but I soon realized that people needed a place they could come to and discuss things that were on their mind as well as get help with where to find things, what worked best, etc. This part of our site opened because of this and it has been a great resource for so many people. I just wished more people posted here but I guess it takes time for that!
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 19 Feb 2007 07:55 AM
Atiya & Tabby,
You have both brought up some very good points.
Atiya, I am glad to hear that you are doing a little better financially and may be able to make a move sometime to a place you feel more accepted.
I will tell you honestly that there are alot of people who admire traditional Indian clothing but few of those who will actually wear it. I think this trend is changing though because I have seen more and more non-Indian people wearing salwar kameez and saree all over the world. It is a very flattering look for all women. I would suggest starting slow though because you don't want to end up with tons of pieces and not be able to sell them. I have been there so I can honestly tell you that it ties up space in your home and also in your finances if you are not careful. I am glad you have someone to help you with this. Your Dad sounds like a great ally to have, very knowledgable and with lots of connections. Just what you need to get started! I wish you best of luck with this and hope your art and/or clothing business will bring you much joy.
As for your art, I am glad you are thinking of advertising it somewhere other than just in your small town, although people may surprise you there. It is hard to know. I once met a lady who sold her art on eBay. She did customized dog and cat portraits on Christmas ornaments. She did the absolute best rendition of my beloved dog who had passed away earlier in the year. We wanted something that captured his spirit and I presented it to my son to hang on the tree. I don't know how well she was doing with the eBay thing but that is another thought to explore if you can paint from a photo :-)
I am sorry to hear about the fact that you have lost joy in Christmas for more than one reason. First, because you did take some joy from it before you were hurt by people and secondly because you are raising a child in a society where Christmas is a major holiday. While I don't believe you have to conform to everything, I know that Christmas is a beautiful, magical time for little ones. The lights on a Christmas tree are so beautiful to them. We buy an ornament every year for our kids that mean something to them. For example, my daughter loved Winnie-the-Pooh when she was a baby so we bought her an ornament with Winnie-the-Pooh on it that year. Our son played American football for the first time 3 years ago and fell in love with it so we got him a little snowman holding a football that year. You can see how we choose. Every year we add an ornament or two of special meaning and in between those really special ones we put in some plain glass balls in red and gold. We put lights on the tree and at night we turn off all the other lights except a few candles and sip hot chocolate. We might talk or we might listen to soft music but it was always my little ones favorite time. We also bundle the kids up and take them out in the car to look at all the Christmas lights outside. I hope that one day you can take pleasure from Christmas again and introduce your baby to the beauty of it. I also believe you should hold firm to your childhood traditions as well. My children look forward to lighting the house for Diwali every year, popping firecrackers, eating tons of sweets, etc.
Joined: 07 Jan 2006
Total Posts: 228
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 19 Feb 2007 09:06 AM
Atiya & Mel,
I just woke up, so I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts in this thread. But I wanted to say a few things right now (I'll probably think of more later).
Atiya, you are definitely not whining here, so do not feel bad or guilty. You have done a really good job of explaining your situation currently and what is good and what is not so good.
Also, I am a bit like you when it comes to religion. To be honest, when I was a young child even, I just was not interested in being religious. Because of this, a lot of family members made all sorts of threats: "God will punish you", "If you don't go to church, you will go to H#ll", etc. This only made me more disinterested in following any religion, although I'm very interested in studying religions. So, Christian holidays really hold nothing for me. We do celebrate them because our families enjoy these holidays.
We don't do any lights, a tree, or much decorating, but probably would if we had kids. Mel is right: kids love that type of stuff - even non-Christian kids. What helps me to celebrate Christmas, for example, when I don't enjoy it is I think of it as a time to get together with loved ones. December can be dark, cold, and snowy where I live, so getting together for conversation, food, and drinks sort of makes things more interesting in a sort of boring type of year.
Joined: 04 Apr 2005
Total Posts: 175
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 20 Feb 2007 08:29 AM
I am so sorry that you are unhappy with your living conditions. Sometimes people do not practice what they think they are preaching. In small communities, this can be doubly devious when people act all closed-minded.
I will keep you and your family in prayer as you seek out a happier path in life.
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 22 Feb 2007 09:32 AM
Hi Mel... sorry, I couldnt get back to this thread as soon as I wanted to.
I believe these forums are a real good insight to what Indian culture is about.. be it clothing, recipes, traditions or any other topic one might be wondering about regarding India. I have had a lot of ppl here come and ask me things about India. Most have a lot of misconception, I some times am able to clear it but other times I dont know. I myself have barely stayed 5 years in India just for the sake of college and there is so much to know and learn about India, one cant learn enough in 5 years.
I agree more ppl need to join here, specially the ones that have questions about India, or have a friend or gf or wife/hubby from India. I know the next time I happen to come across somebody who has questions about India, will be directed towards Pardesi forums!
As for us moving towards the college town,... I guess our time has come! The house we been living in was on sale and we was allowed to live here for a short amount of rent every month. This house has finally got sold yesterday and we are on 30 days notice to find a new place. I am just as exicited as dreading to make a move with all our stuff... I hate changing houses.
Thank you so much for ur advice and suggestions on starting up my home business, I simply cant explain how much ur help matters to me knowing that u r a senior and have much more knowledge about american - indian relations.
I hear u Mel, on ppl showing so much interest in words but having nothing to do in action! I have been there myself. I have had so many ppl tell me they just love my work and I need to sit and prepare such and such kinda paintings and put it on sale in this place and that and some even asked for it on the internet but when it comes down to them paying and hanging my drawings on their wall...I never see no one come forward. I just came to the conclusion that my artwork must totally suck or somethin and wish ppl could be more honest!
So I am getting only two extra salwar-kameez, the other two salwar-kameez have already been ordered by my hubby's boss, she also told us what fabric, color and size she wants it to be so we r hoping she will buy... dont u think? Like I said before, my father has very good knowledge about all kinds of imports and exports of indian products through out the world, so he is also sending a couple designer jeans for ladies and mens jeans and shirts made by other countries which he can get on a low price range.... them are going to be of my size and hubby's size so that we can have it if they dont sell and the indian tops with the loop that goes all around the ear has been ordered as well, so we are hoping either all this will sell or atleast if not we wont be into too much loss! Same with mine and hubby's artwork, it is available as prints or on mugs or t-shirts etc.. if somebody wants it , until then we are not going to make prints out of it.
Due to my father's profession at one time, our house used to be full of all these samples from all kinds of indian businessmen wanting to promote their goods in kuwait, so I know exactly what u mean by tied up space in the house, the only good thing about our samples in the house was that we did not pay for it...
I also believe a shop makes a whole lot of difference in sales as compared to home business, what do u think? I guess I need to start a new thread on that one!
I have been talking to a lot of ppl about ebay. What I gather from the info. I got from the artists selling on ebay is that its kinda very tacky business on ebay. One has to know the way to present their stuff and even then, there r so many artists on ebay that it takes time for one to get recognized in the crowd. U end up putting more money than what u gain out of it. Besides I respect my art and hate to sell it for cheap, which happens quite often on ebay. I know a lot of ppl doing great on ebay...infact I know a family that makes their entire living thru ebay!! ...but not everyone is that lucky!
I can do people's portraits pretty good. All I need is a clear picture, big enough to see the details. I know that everyone here has some kinda pet in their house so animal portraits would make a better sale but I havent tried to do animals yet... I must give it a try!
No, I cant say I have 'lost joy in christmas', I have been into christmas celebrations since I was a kid so it is hard to not get excited during that time of the year but I have kinda lost interest in being a part of it...like going to church or packing gifts or visiting my christian friends and eating together on christmas eve...stuff like that cuz each time I was made aware that I was "different"! So I would rather enjoy it from a distance than being into it so close that it would hurt my feelings. Thats a lesson learned! My daughter will enjoy the beauty and fun of christmas from the same distance as we do until she grows up and decides to be a part of it. Thats going to be her choice...
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...
Re: Cross Cultural Family Living in a Conservative Christian Community Posted: 25 Feb 2007 12:11 AM
Hi Tabby and Dollmommy...sorry for the late reply.
I just cant believe how busy life is getting after this baby has come into my life, besides we are moving to a new house, im on my way to set up my home-business so right now spreading the word is a huge job and also I am preparing my case since about two months regarding my legalization and Green Card in USA. I have a hearing tomorrow. I got my hands full..lol!
Tabby, its good u like to at least study about religion. I am not good at anything related to religion...I feel kinda bad about that but I have always stayed away from anything to do with religion...I usually just keep going with the rituals ..like praying at least once a day, fasts..etc..
But I dont know really the deep meanings behind it...which is pretty shameful. I just cant help that I am not interested, I dont know why. I just go by the belief that there is a super power above us all. He does come to ur heart every time and tell u what is the right thing to do, regardless of whether u hear His voice or ignore it. It's up to u whether u choose to follow His voice or not. That is just how I believe..."to do what is right".. I guess everyone knows in their heart when they do something wrong, whether u accept it or not , ur inner voice does tell u! But that is just 'my opinion.' Honestly, sometimes I believe this world would have been better off if there had been no religion, just the fear of God. Its sick and sorry how the world is getting in the name of religion today. But once again, that is just ‘my opinion.’
Lights ,trees, decorations, yummy food, christmas songs and get together is what I have always liked about christmas too.. I still love those things. I have never decorated my house with trees and lights but I have always participated in putting em up in my christian friends homes. I hope I will someday find a group of friends here as well where I would feel more easy, not be hurt and enjoy the spirit of christmas not just as a spectator but by being a part of it...
Dollmommy, thank you so much for ur well wishes and prayers... I wish a lot of blessings and happiness to u as well :)
...mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari...