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priya is not online. Last active: 5/17/2008 6:22:37 AM priya
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Joined: 21 Feb 2005
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How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 17 Mar 2005 02:08 PM
Hi ther,

I just came up with this topic as it has been and will be a big issue in any Indian society.

Friends and friendship is considered to be the best and pure of all other factors.

In India, it was/is very difficult for the society/family to accept a male andf emale friendship. As a fmaily parents are more considered of their values and daughters name. I meant, they want their daughters to have a good name in the society and not the society blaming them.

Do you all agree with that??

If a boy and a girl who are really close friends and go out known to family, the society insists them to be lovers no matter what.

Why the society takes decisions?? Its just the two family and the boy the girl right.

After marriage, men always say its hard to keep those friendship for women.

Do you all agree?? If not what kind of factors influence, I mean your husband and his family to continue friendship.

To me I feel friendship starts at any age. But do we feel secure about it....

Do all male friends see women/his friends in a positive way / just the body. All eyes ar enot perfect.

No intention of hurting others here. Just wanna know how you allf eel about your friends and their friendship.

Anyone can drop their messages ............................................
sachin24k is not online. Last active: 5/11/2005 2:14:40 AM sachin24k
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Total Posts: 2
 
Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 14 Apr 2005 03:12 AM
friendship is an art of accepting eachother!!!

Quotes apart, i believe in the system (society) to some extent, i think it helps. Question here is not just friendship, its between male and female (irrespective of their marital status).

Friendship is giving, making the other person happy, sharing problems etc... i think with friends of opposite sex, this intension may turn out to be a physical also. And later defining the term friendship may be difficult, if not i think its perfectly ok, but if the relationship gets rigged, the blame goes to friendship!

And, it is difficult to have same level of friendship after marriage, reason is the proirities in life changes after marriage, you can meet your friends but cant spend too much time,

I think in all these cases, society offers a good amount of protection and adds value to our life!

Sachin24k
Evergreesony is not online. Last active: 10/18/2006 4:27:31 PM Evergreesony
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Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 14 Apr 2005 10:39 AM
yeah very good explaination sachin24k.

hey priya very good post for discussion.
yupp in india nobody consider a well and healthy but pur erelation between girl and boy still this century .
i know I had few friends but after marraige I cannot get time to talk with them but they are like my brothers so nobody fely anything bad in my family.

as I know still why you people canot consider good relation betwen girl and boy just only friendship even in movie they show good freiends of opposite sexes and suddenly one day they fee they have to be partner forever like that.

As sachin said after marriage life changes even in boys life but atleast tehy can talk with tehir friends but not girls .

it's coming from very longtime if we still wants to change now we have to wait for result for soem years.

as my opinion if they can maintan their friendship and also they have pure friendship then it's okay with me.
after marriage it is very difficult and very hard to convence everyone to keep friendship.

even I don't feel anything bad in friendship between male and female if ot's in limit.


EG



priya is not online. Last active: 5/17/2008 6:22:37 AM priya
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Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 03 May 2005 06:33 PM
Hi 24k,

Nice to meet you.

Thanks for your input. I do agree friendship is giving but not physical. Chemistry what works between a man and a woman differs from person to person.

What we cannot share with other family members, we share with our best friends. I agree sometimes it is very sensitive to talk about matters, but if they feel it ok no matter what, you can be open.

Everybody is different on how they continue their friendship after marriage. They may not meet in person due to change of place, but will exchange through emails/phone.


Know what- I like the way you started with :

" Friendship is an art of accepting eachother".

That is life and we go through in our day today life whoever we meet.

Priya

sachin24k is not online. Last active: 5/11/2005 2:14:40 AM sachin24k
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
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Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 06 May 2005 09:10 AM
Friendship is I feel one of the most misled, misused word to define, when you can not define any relationship!

My apologies to those who do not agree !!!

When I was in my 12th grade, I met this friend who is very interesting, and his mother made roti (kind of Indian bread) and a curry. It was so heavenly tasty that I just fell love with that family. He has a very quiet father. He would'nt talk much, but when he spoke, it was deep!

One day, when we were new to the college, he asked me what happend in college, I told him I had great time, I made two new friends .... etc .. I kept on going for some time and he listened patiently.

Once I shut up, he told me,

"Please do not call everyone whom you meet as your friends! If you know someone by his/her name or if you just happen to recognise a face, does not mean he is your friend. It takes a great deal to make a friend, and if you are lucky, you may get one or two friends in life !!!! "

And I had lost my grip !!!!

And, I knew how true he is,

With due respect to all the reasons of the world, today I dont have my friends with me. I feel lonely and miss those time we spent together. Many have turned blue and yellow. Rest of them got married !!!

Sometimes I think, you need different kind of people as friends at different times!!! Alas, friendship is made these days on need basis !!!!

Sachu
Evergreesony is not online. Last active: 10/18/2006 4:27:31 PM Evergreesony
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Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 13 May 2005 11:47 AM
hello Sachin
i do agree with yopur friend.it's very hard to get friend.
ye sit's true you cannot say you hav etrue friends . thos ewho listen you ,those who appreaciate your word but also tell you which is right and wrong.and finally care for you arround the world.

Upto my life I have only 4 friends.thos ewho understand me and care about me and wherever inworld but always care about me.
we always talk we are very far away but always think thatw we are close to each other in heart.


when we born first friend will be our mother who care about us upto her life.

second friend wil be father who gives a name and direction.

third friend wil be our guru who canot walk with us but his shiksha or his knowldge he will give us so with that knowldge we can survive in around the world .

fourth sakha means friend , partner.


Friendship is not like taht you canot forget them at once.
in joy and sorrow you will remebre them that means they are the only your friend.

priya is not online. Last active: 5/17/2008 6:22:37 AM priya
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Re: How friends are treated in a society
Posted: 24 May 2005 03:00 PM
Hi Sachu,


You made a good point and I totally agree with you. There is a difference being a casual friendship and deeper / (close)friendship. Casual friends are the one those who we meet in our day today life.

Whereas close friendship happens with a better communication and sacrifices between them. Its they who understnad each others problems. Choosing a good friend is not so easy. It just happens like love and when it grows deeper, close friends stay together wherever they are.


I too agree that some times we feel lonely as we don't have our friends close to us. If we do have sometimes that friendship is mistaken and flies away with no reason.

Not many people communicate through letters than e-mail. Friends live and go but the memories never fades. It will be understood only by people who have/met good people.

Sachu it is not so easy to mingle with many people. Chemistry doe shappena nd that's why we always turn to few and not many. Its just an intuition and our intelligence and belief that the person we choose either he/she will be a good friend.

Whatever...... Friends are hard to find, if found its hard to digest failure/success.

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